


The Feelings We Bury, and the Ones We Let Fly

by shamelessfiction (shamelssfiction)



Category: Captain Marvel (2019)
Genre: Carol Danvers can be a stupid jock sometimes., F/F, Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 21:01:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18484276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shamelssfiction/pseuds/shamelessfiction
Summary: If Carol could go to space, Maria could go to Marcello's for wine and brick oven pizza with the pretty redhead who ran the airfield cafe. Right?





	The Feelings We Bury, and the Ones We Let Fly

**Author's Note:**

> I think Maria must have a lot of feelings about Carol just blasting off with the Skrulls. So I wrote a thing about how hard that must be for her. 
> 
> But also dont worry. There is a absolutely solid Carol/Maria content ahead.

If Carol could go to space, Maria could go to Marcello's for wine and brick oven pizza with the pretty redhead who ran the airfield cafe. 

Right. 

Right?

Maria nodded at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, determined to chase the doubt from her eyes. 

She leaned forward and gently ran the the tip of a black eye pencil along her left eyelid. The line she made didn't exactly match what she had managed on her right side, but at least it wasn’t wavy like her first two attempts. She decided to leave it.

It was rare that Maria wore makeup. In the Air Force it hadn't been practical, and in the Louisiana heat it still wasn't practical. Anyway, who was she trying to impress from the pilot seat of a local charter flight or elbow deep in engine parts? 

But apparently, Georgie at the cafe had been watching closely from behind her counter for the past few months. She always had a warm smile and a hot cup of coffee on the house for Maria. They joked around about some of the jerks at the airfield, even talked a little about the military. Georgie told Maria of her youthful aspirations of becoming an avionics mechanic in the Army, even passed the aptitude test before the boys club bullied her out of basic training. Georgie was funny, and lovely, and sweet to Monica whenever she came down to the airfield, plying her with powdered donuts and letting her sit on the counter to eat them. 

Georgie was also direct. Earlier that week, she had looked across the counter at Maria, and said, “Those pretty eyes are looking even more dark and deep than usual, cher. Why don't we go somewhere Saturday night and see if I can't cheer you up?” 

Maria had just blinked. She was used to men coming on strong, and once in a while a woman would throw a few signals her way. But it was rare for a woman to openly express interest. She had sat stunned while Georgie leaned in close and dropped her phone number into Maria's shirt pocket.

Georgie leaned back and took in Maria's surprised look. She shrugged and grinned “Been waitin’ on you to ask but…”

“Ah...um... Oh. Oh.” Maria had stammered. “I um...have a flight? Now. I have a flight now.”

Georgie had just nodded. “Well, go fly then. And call me about Saturday.”

Flying always cleared Maria's head, and humming through the clouds she was able to calm down and think though Georgie's invitation. Why not go? Carol had rocketed off to save an alien race without any mention of a return date. She had left a communicator, but that was for emergencies, not romance. It wasn't even clear how much Carol remembered of their life together. Maria sighed. Her heart had held vigil for Carol for six long empty years. Now she was going to go on holding a candle for a supernova with Carol's smile who was literally hurtling away from her at thousands of miles per second? 

Her heart was so stupid.

Back at the airfield, she caught up with Georgie in the parking lot. Back lit by the setting sun, her wavy red hair seemed lit from within. 

Maria cursed under her breath. Another woman with any kind of glow was really not what she needed right now. But she told her stupid heart to quiet down and spoke up. 

“Saturday sounds great. I'll call you.”

And despite the cold sweat that came on when she reached for the phone, she had done it. They’d agreed Maria would pick Georgie up at her place, they’d go for pizza, share some wine, maybe take a drive. And now here it was almost time to leave and Maria's hands were shaking so bad she could hardly wield a mascara wand without poking herself in the eye. 

Monica would have gotten a kick out of helping Maria do her makeup, but Monica was over at her friend Gracie's for a sleepover. It wasn't like Maria thought she would be bringing Georgie back home with her or anything. She just didn't want any questions, and Monica was nothing but a lighting fast stream of questions hovering in the form of an 11 year old girl. Questions and Carol worship. Two things Maria was trying really hard to push to the corners of her mind tonight. 

Maria straightened up and regarded her reflection one last time. She looked great. It was just that she also looked absolutely miserable. 

Monica had left that stupid Nine Inch Nails shirt drying on the towel rack. Maria snatched it down, balled it up and threw it in the corner of the bathroom floor. Then she heaved a deep breath, picked it up and hung it up again. 

“Goddamnit, Carol.” Maria said out loud. She blinked fast to make sure she didn't cry. She did not have time to do this eye makeup again. 

In the car, Maria gunned the engine and rode fast over rural roads toward Georgie's house on the other side of the parrish. She left the windows open, popped in a tape blasted the stereo. She sang along until her throat was raw, the discomfort a reminder that she was alive on this beautiful earth. Dinner with a pretty woman who was nice to her wasn't a punishment. 

 

***

 

Marcello's was the perfect place for a date that no one was supposed to clock as a date. The atmosphere was charming but unpretentious, the tables filled with couples, groups of friends, even a few families out for a special occasion. The server led Maria and Georgie to a table on the patio without blinking an eye. 

“Girls night out?” she asked, handing them the wine list. 

“You got it,” Georgie winked at her. “Bottle of merlot, pal?” She asked Maria. 

Maria chuckled. “Sounds great.” 

“I’ll bring you something special for an appetizer too,” the server said. “Gotta make the most of your night away from the boys!”

“Im sure hoping to,” Georgie said, her gaze levelled at Maria. 

Maria blushed and shifted in her seat. She still wasn't sure whether she was having fun. But at least this date would be interesting. 

A bottle of wine and a bacon fig pizza later, Maria was still uncertain but she was considerably more relaxed. It was easy to talk to Georgie about work, about Monica, about that one road in the parrish that badly needed repaving. 

But there were some things it was impossible to talk about. When Georgie asked why she and Monica hadn’t made it down to the Founder’s Day picnic last weekend, Maria left out the part about shape shifting aliens and a glowing ex(?) girlfriend, and just said “Oh, I had to...head out of town.” 

After dinner, they climbed back into the car. Georgie lay her hand on Maria’s on top of the gear shift. “You up for that drive?”

Maria wasn’t quite sure. But she said yes anyway. 

She drove them a few miles out of town, pulled off the road at a spot she and Monica had visited many times. Further down from the turn off there was a small pond where she and Monica used to go wading and catch frogs. But tonight, Maria stopped the car, just at the side of the road, and cut the engine. She got out of the car, climbed up on the hood, and invited Georgie to do the same. 

They both leaned back against the windshield and watched the stars come out. 

“You're thinking about someone else tonight.” Georgie said after a few minutes. 

Maria winced. “Is it that obvious?” 

Georgie gave her a wistful smile. “Its just...I know I look good, I smell fantastic, we're here alone on a gorgeous night, and you've got only eyes for the sky, not for me. 

At that, Maria's eyes filled with tears, and she couldn't blink fast enough to keep them from spilling over. 

“Oh, cher, what'd she do to you?”

Maria wiped her eyes and tried to compose herself. She didn't trust herself to say anything about Carol. What would she say anyway that wouldn't involve shape shifting aliens and exploded tesseracts and jaw droppingly beautiful power? Maybe it was obvious she was lovesick, but she didn't want to also appear completely insane. 

“Let me guess.” Georgie said after a moment of silence. “This has something to do with that Auntie Carol Moncia's always talking about.”

Maria nodded.

Georgie settled herself back against the windshield. “Well. Auntie Carol's gotta be pretty special if shes got two amazing girls like you and Monica hung up on her.” 

Maria bit hard on her bottom lip to keep from whimpering. She bit hard enough to draw blood. 

“But,” Georgie continued, “...Auntie Carol's also gotta be pretty fucking stupid if she doesn't realize how precious you and Monica are.”

Maria laughed, releasing the knot of tension in her throat along with the sound.

“She is.” Maria said. “She's such a stupid, cocky, flyboy jock.”

Georgie turned her head to look at Maria. “...and you can't stop loving her.”

Maria didn't even bother to wipe the tears away this time. 

Georgie sighed. She patted Maria's arm and slid off the hood of the car. “C'mon, cher. Drive me home and give me a nice kiss goodnight.”

Maria did. She played a Sade tape on the ride back, walked Georgie to her door and gave her a warm hug, pressed soft lips to the corner of her mouth and whispered “Thank you.” 

Georgie squeezed back. “She'll come back if she knows what's good for her. And if she doesn't, you're cute enough for me to offer a one time only, one week grace period on a rain check from me.”

Maria chuckled and turned back to the car. For the first time all night, she was smiling. 

 

***

 

At home, Maria stepped out of her shoes in the foyer and walked up the steps to the second floor while shedding her dress and her bra. She'd pick it all up before Monica got home in the morning, but for now it felt good to be completely at ease, alone. 

Upstairs, she changed into a white tanktop and an old, soft pair of USAF sweatpants. She tied the drawstring of the sweats tight and padded into the bathroom. 

She was leaning over the sink, about to splash water on her face, when she heard an alien sounding buzz from her bedroom. She looked up, startled. The communicator Carol had left whirred insistently on her windowsill and she quickly headed back to her room to pick it up. 

Frazzled, Maria couldn't remember exactly how to turn it on. She fumbled with it for a moment, until her thumb slid over a ridge on the underside, and a life size hologram of Carol's face was suddenly in front of her. 

Maria's heart skipped a beat. Carol looked gorgeous, windblown and glowing. But underneath the otherworldly aura, the resolute scrunch of her chin, the concerned furrow in her brow was all Carol. Her Carol. 

“What's wrong?” Maria said immediately. Her mind skipped over the possibilities. Carol didnt seem hurt. Alien invasion? Would she have time to get to Monica? 

“Nothing. No. No.” Carol hastened to calm Maria. “Everything's...fine?”

Maria raised an eyebrow. “You sure about that?”

“Yes...No.”

Maria settled on her bed and waited, holding the communicator out in front of her. Carol had never been big on big conversations. Sometimes she just needed a minute. 

“You're wearing makeup.” Carol said. 

“Fuck, Carol…” Maria cursed under her breath. 

Carol caught it, but she just grinned, that stupid cocky flyboy grin.

“You go out?” Carol asked. 

“Did you call me from however many lightyears away to ask me if I had a date tonight?”

“No...but did you?”

Maria scowled at Carol's hologram. “I did have a date. A terrible date.”

“I'll take you on a better one.” Carol said immediately. 

“Oh really?” Maria said. “In how many goddamned years will that be? And what color will your blood be then?” 

Maria's voice cracked on the last word, and she broke into a sob. 

“Oh baby,” Carol said softly. 

“It hurts so much,” Maria said, her voice thick through the tears. “You don't know. You weren't the one left behind. Twice.”

Maria dropped the communicator onto the bedspread and curled in on herself, wrapping her arms around her knees.

Carol's image on the communicator wavered and faded. 

Almost immediately a loud crack sounded from the front door. And suddenly, Carol was beside Maria's bed. No glow, no blazing hands. Just Carol. In that flight suit. That damn flight suit that still looked so unspeakably hot, despite the fact that Maria was furious with her. 

“I'm sorry.” Carol said. “I'm sorry i disappeared, and I'm sorry I left again. I'm sorry i don't remember everything. I'm sorry…”

Maria sat up, sniffling. “Did you break down my front door?”

Carol looked guilty. “I sort of...flew...through...it.”

Maria scooted to the edge of the bed and set her feet on the floor. “You have no idea how infuriating you are, do you?”

Carol knelt between Maria's knees and looked up at her. “I love you so much.” She said. A look of wild wonder crossed her face, and she said it again. “I love you so much, Maria.”

“Oh, God. I love you too.” 

Maria bent to meet Carol's mouth. They kissed - it was the deep, hungry, homecoming kiss they had been aching for. Carol tasted like charcoal and warm sugar, the strange dust of space. 

Maria wrapped herself around Carol and pulled her closer, until her pounding heart was pressed hard up against Carol's Hala star. 

“I thought that communicator was for emergencies.” Maria said, when they finally came up for air. 

“This was an emergency.” Carol said. 

“Kissing?”

Carol placed three soft kisses on Maria's mouth, ended by stroking her upper lip with a gentle tongue. But she shook her head, no. 

“The further away I got, the more my heart ached. I don't think I can feel much pain now, but this was agony.”

Maria nuzzled into Carol's neck. “I know the feeling.”

“I called you to tell you I was on the way back.” 

Carol pulled back to look Maria in the eye. 

“I don't know everything I used to. Yet.” Carol said. “And I still have to go back up and help the Skrulls. But I know I need you.” Carol kissed Maria again. “I know I love you.”

Maria melted into her, fingers fumbling for the edges of the flight suit. Carol gently picked her up and floated them both into a more comfortable position on the bed, their bodies automatically intertwining, seeking out a familiar friction. 

“I know I want you. So much.” 

Carol shifted until she was on top of Maria. She stroked Maria’s bare arm, a gentle touch that still sent shivers sparking across her skin. Maria pulled her down into a sloppy, heated kiss, her hands roaming across Carol’s back and shoulders. 

Carol peppered kisses across Maria’s face and neck, while sliding a warm hand under the hem of her tanktop. 

“I know I want to be here for you, even while I also have to…”

Maria cut her off with a frustrated growl. “Carol, later we can have a long chat about how accepting I’m planning to be about your powers and the attendant responsibilities, but for right now...just show me how the hell to get this suit off of you?”

***

Around sunrise, Maria fell asleep, sated and sweaty, one bare leg slung over Carol, as if to make sure to keep her earthbound until Maria woke up. 

Carol didn’t need to sleep and she had no intention of moving. She watched dawn break across Maria’s face, and thanked her lucky stars for each precious shift of the light. 

***

When Carol walked onto the airfield a week later with Maria and Monica, Georgie knew at a glance who she was, even without Monica dragging her everywhere by the arm, crowing “Auntie Carol, Auntie Carol, you gotta see this.”

The cafe counter was a stop on Monica’s grand tour. 

Georgie had the powdered donuts ready. Monica grabbed four. Carol showed mature restraint. She only grabbed three. Maria shook her head at the donuts and asked for a coffee.

“So this is your famous Auntie Carol, huh?” Georgie asked Monica.

Monica nodded happily, hopping up on the counter and swinging her feet. 

“Yeah, she’s here for a whole month before she has to...head back to her post.”

“Oh, you’re still USAF?” Georgie asked. 

Carol flashed her a brilliant smile and a quick nod. “Sure.”

“C’mon,” Monica had already hopped down and was pulling Carol toward the hangar. I gotta show you this…

Maria lingered at the counter, staring after Carol and Monica, not even trying to hide the goofy grin spreading across her face.

“Nice to see you smiling again, cher.” Georgie said. 

Maria turned toward the counter. “Georgie, I owe you an apology...”

“Apologize? For what, being in love?” Georgie gave Maria a sly grin as they watched Carol lift Monica above her head and mimic flying her like a plane. “But Maria, you could’ve mentioned she has arms like a Michelangelo statue.” She leaned over and whispered conspiratorially, “I might not have asked for that goodnight kiss if I knew your girlfriend could literally toss me like a football.”

Maria laughed, and her laugh made Carol turn toward her, from across the room, and smile. 

“Well, go on,” Georgie said, “Don’t keep your girls waiting.”

And Maria didn’t. She took Monica and Carol to her plane, and they flew.

**Author's Note:**

> I think Carol's got juuuuust a touch of the fuckboi about her and I think Maria loves her in spite of it/because of it, so I really wanted to explore that here. 
> 
> Also with Monica, its my head canon that she reverts to her 5/6 yr old self a lot at first when Carol comes back around, since that's where they left off. And Carol, being a big goof and having super strength, goes there with her. I alluded to that at the end there.


End file.
